Lessons

While enjoying my coffee this morning, I overheard my sister-in-law speak of the scent of perfume and the fact that the aroma is linked to our memories about the person who wears it.  The statement brought to mind an incident from my earlier days when a friend learned a valuable lesson in the use of alluring smells.

My friend and I were young men (around 26).  He was married at the time.  It was the weekend and it was summer, so we decided to drive south to Dewey Beach where my friend quickly found a young lady at a bar who sparked his interest.  Several hours later, I was seated outside of a hotel during the wee hours of the morning awaiting my friend's departure from the tryst that had formed.

He finally snuck into my parked car and I started to drive north.  I was immediately struck by a pungent aroma.  My friend carried with him the potent smell of cheap perfume.  When I told him about it, he said he was all too aware.  He explained to me that his newly found amor had rubbed him down with scented oils during their time together.  The man reeked and as a young husband he voiced his concerns about his wife's discovery of the obnoxious scent.

When we arrived at his house, I dropped him off and quickly sped away so I would not be viewed as a conspirator in his misdeeds.

I caught up with my friend a few days later and asked him if he was discovered by his wife.  He said that he was not, but confided in me that he had learned a valuable lesson and would never repeat his actions again.

I was relieved to hear those words come from him and I expressed to him that I was happy in knowing that he would never break his marital vows again.

My friend looked at me with a confused look.
He told me that I had misunderstood.  The lesson he had learned was when you have an affair, never let the woman you stepped out with rub you down with perfume and scented oils.  He said that even after several showers he still had to hide from his wife the entire next day.

My friend has since divorced.

Succotash

"My supper dish, my succotash wish."

-Dee Lite / Groove is in the Heart

It is the first day of vacation and my son and I were walking towards the beach when I realized that we traveled the very road of the "Succotash Incident."  I mentioned it to him and he immediately fired off questions.

What is succotash?

Succotash is lima beans and corn cooked up in the same dish.  Pretty simple stuff.   Of course, there are all kinds of fancy off-shoots of the idea, like throwing in peppers and tomatoes and spices and whatnot, but the basic concept is limas and corn.

What was the "Succotash Incident"?

The Succotash Incident occurred during my youth while the family was vacationing in Rehoboth Beach, Delaware.  While sipping coffee and reading the paper in the early morning, my Uncle John suddenly decided that we would all be dining on succotash that night.  For the next ten hours of the day, no fifteen minute time period was allowed to pass without John bringing up succotash.  When words could not express his devotion to the subject he would then sing about succotash.

Finally, it came time to purchase lima beans and corn to prepare the dish.  John, his wife and I loaded up into a Griswold-like station wagon and he drove us towards the local market.  Unable to contain himself at the thought of feasting on succotash, he once again broke into the succotash song and began to swerve the car back and forth on Columbia Avenue, a sleepy road that runs through the picturesque beach town.

A very elderly man was walking on the shoulder and saw the approach of what amounted to a Boston Whaler on wheels being driven by a maniac.  A look of utter panic shot across the man's face and he dashed towards a split rail fence as quickly as he could to get as far away as possible and seek some semblance of protection from a man under the grip of succotash desires.
Most men would have gained their composure at that moment and realized that their rash behavior could inadvertently affect those around them.
John is not most men.
He just laughed. 

Looking back through the thirty years since the incident occurred, I walked by the spot today where I approximated the man stood.  I can only muster a feeble apology to him in reference to my uncle's actions on that day.

Because, hey.  Let's face it.

Succotash is pretty darn tasty.