If you see me out and about town anytime soon and I am donning a caramel-colored blazer, I know you will be dying to ask two questions. I wanted to save everyone any social awkwardness they may feel at that moment, so I decided to go ahead and post the questions and answers here.
First question: Is that blazer made of 100 percent camel hair?
Answer: Yes. Yes it is.
Second question: Can I touch it?
Answer: Yes. Yes you can. (Please refrain from swooning or tears of joy at this time).
Now you may think that I am nothing but a vain cad.
Well thank you. Thank you very much.
However, I must confess that I am not just a vain cad. I am a cheap cad as well. I am miserly, stingy, thrifty, and tight. If I see a penny on the ground, it is best you do not get between us. (Seriously, stay out of my way).
So how does the modern cheapskate who has a passion for fashion stay within his meager budget and look so dapper as I?
Oh yeah, baby. If I could make my computer say thrift shop out loud it would be in the voice of Barry White. It would be Barry White sipping on champagne and wiping his brow with ladies lovely silken underthingies. That is the type of seductiveness that thrift shops and second-hand joints have on me.
It is hunting at its finest. I feel like the lone warrior whose prey has hidden itself in a herd of shabby "Made in China" shirts and polyester pants from the seventies. My quarry thinks that it is safe from me because it has found refuge with used Roca Wear and Old Navy sweatshirts. Ha! I laugh at its pitiful attempts.
Camel hair coat? Mine!
Leather brown wing tips? Snatch!
Brooks Brothers dress shirt and Ralph Lauren slacks? Double yoink!
The weird thing is that I treat clothes that I bought for a couple of bucks second-hand a lot better than new clothes I pay top dollar for. They feel like they are worth more to me, like I have earned them somehow. There is also the added benefit that it is the ultimate in recycling.
I buy whole seasonal wardrobes now with the same amount of money I used to spend on a few pieces. (Barry White is cooing "Save" in the background).
I would not recommend this for everyone. A lot of people should still go to the high-end stores and boutiques and buy new right off the rack. I know that can be a great feeling, too. Just do me a favor. When you are done with the clothes, donate them to some place like Goodwill (especially if you have a 32 waist, wear a 44R and a 10.5 D foot). Snatch!