I walked into the house one day in September to my wife and my month-old boy in front of the television. I had caught bits and pieces on the car radio, but surely it could not be as bad as it sounded. I remember my wife handing my son over to me. She was wide-eyed. I turned to the T.V. and saw the images of the second plane smashing into the Trade Center. I looked down at my son and I blurted out an apology for bringing him into this mess of a world.
The load had officially become too much for me to carry.
So I did something that I had not done in several years, something I had nonchalantly left behind when I was a boy.
I prayed to God to get my family through this, to let us experience a light at the end of this tunnel.
It did not happen instantly, there was no finger snap and suddenly all was well. It took time. It took courage and hard work but little by little, my wife and I became a team again. We rediscovered joy in each other's company and happiness in our new family. Each day was better and brighter.
My prayers were answered.
I am by no stretch of the imagination a perfect person. I fail each day. I make mistakes. I am a sinner.
And still, I can feel Him near me. I feel His presence in my life. I see Him in my son's smile and in my wife's eyes. I pray He forgives my transgressions and I can only thank Him for being there even when I turn my back on Him. I feel He knows that I am doing the best I can.