I was in the metropolis of Sandtown, Delaware last Monday when I discovered the Navy/Maryland football game on the radio of my car. Two thoughts went through my mind.
The first was:
The second was:
I bet my good friend "H" is there right now.
So I texted him.
ME: Are you at the navy v terps game?
HIM: Yep. You?
ME: I just intercepted that pass.
HIM: You look fat.... So I'm tailgating..... 10 feet down/ over is (my ex-girlfriend).
ME: Nice. Is she still married?
HIM: Allegedly.... I did NOT go over and say hello.... (your wife) would be proud.
ME: No. You just went over, flashed your cufflinks, and said, "These cost more than your wedding did."
HIM: I needed you, brother.
Alas, Navy lost.